So if you feel like it's been a while since you've read my blog, well, that's because I haven't updated it since school started. Sorry about that. This school year so far has been absolutely crazy. We just finished the first quarter this past week, and it has been so packed with all different sorts of nuttiness that I am not quite sure that I will be able to explain everything in one blog post.
As you might remember from my last blog post, I started the school year with a whole bunch of new changes, including all new technology and textbooks. That led to the first month of craziness. All high school English classes switched to e-books this year, so the biggest headache was getting all of the books downloaded to the students' iPads. Of course, because we are in Korea and not the United States, there was a little bit of finagling we had to do in order to accomplish that goal. However, eventually, all students had their textbooks. It only took about a month.
However, that has not been the only crazy part of the school year. For the past month or six weeks, it has been something else entirely, something way worse than the difficulty of switching to e-books. Something from my past coming back to haunt me. Something that has made it extremely difficult to do my job and even live life. What is it, you may ask? If you guessed further problems with my arm, you would be correct.
Now, before I explain what is going on now, I want to explain where I've been. Last summer, I had carpal tunnel release surgery on my right wrist. The surgery and recovery went well, and for a while, I was having no further problems. However, that only lasted about six months. Sometime last winter, my right elbow started to hurt again. I had had some pain in my elbow as I was dealing with the pain in my wrist; however, the hope was that once I had surgery, the pain would go away. Unfortunately, it did not. Instead, the pain blossomed, swelled, and grew, until it became a lot like the pain I had previously had in my wrist. In fact, sometimes I was even dealing with some numbness in my arm. Not fun. I went to see my doctor when I was in the States this summer, and he was not much help. He basically said that what I needed to do was rest a whole lot and pretty much never use my elbow, bend it, or rest it on any hard surface, including tables or desks. Not something that is very easy or practical to do. The one good thing about the appointment was that he did give me a cortisone shot for the pain. The cortisone shot helped with the pain throughout the summer, as did resting it.
Fast forward to the beginning of the school year. I only made it a couple weeks before the pain came back again. At that time, the pain wasn't constant and was limited to my right elbow and arm. And then we got to the middle of September, right about three months after I had the cortisone shot. If you know anything about cortisone shots, then you know that they only last for approximately three months. This time, the pain was really intense and fairly constant. It also was not limited to my right arm. Because I started using my left to do more things, my left wrist and elbow have also been hurting since this time. The pain and numbness in my right arm was so bad that I even missed one day of school because of it.
And that has pretty much been the story of my life for the past month. Pain. Almost constant, unending, life-stopping pain. It is made it almost impossible to do anything. I cannot write. I cannot type. I cannot lift or carry anything. I can barely grip anything. I cannot do any household chores. I can barely feed myself or accomplish personal hygiene tasks. I cannot sit or stand for more than a minute or two without my arms starting to hurt. I cannot go more than a few minutes after my Aleve wears off before I feel the pain again. And even the Aleve doesn't take care of all the pain.
So, life is pretty difficult right now. I spend as much time as I possibly can sitting with my arms resting on pillows. As you might imagine, that makes teaching pretty difficult. I spend more time sitting at my desk that I normally would, and when I do have to stand, I find that I can be relatively comfortable with a pillow balanced under my arm. I do not write anything on the board; the students do it all. Thankfully, they think it's pretty cool and seem to enjoy it. Overall, the students (and faculty) at my school are very understanding and helpful. I have a friend who helps me do all of my grading, primarily the writing component of it.
At home, I have been spending pretty much all of my time sitting on my bed, resting my arms on the Island of Five Pillows. My roommates help by preparing all of my food, doing all of my dishes, and even doing my laundry. Right now, the only way that I am able to continue doing life is through all the help that the community here provides me.
Ultimately, though, my biggest help comes from God. As you might imagine, the past month has been very discouraging and frustrating for me. My entire life is consumed by pain. Through that, it would be really easy to lose sight of who God is and what he has done for me. But I've mostly been able to hang onto that and remember how much he does help me. I find that somehow I'm able to get through it if I rest on him and rely on him. God upholds me and strengthens me and allows me to get through each and every day. I know that he has placed this in my life at this time for a reason. I don't fully understand what that reason is now, and I may never understand what it is. I do know, however, that it is ultimately for his glory. And, as long as he is being glorified, that is really all that matters. It is my prayer that, as I walk through this trial, that my response and my reaction and how I handle the situation would glorify God.
That being said, I desperately need your prayers. First, that my life right now would glorify God, not despite the pain, but through it. Second, for pain relief. Third, for healing. I know that, if he chose to, God could heal me tonight. He hasn't yet, but I believe that he will one day. Fourth, for my upcoming doctor's appointment. I have an appointment with a hand and arm specialist scheduled for this Thursday afternoon at 2 P.M. It is at one of the major hospitals just south of Seoul, so I should be able to get good care with a physician who speaks good English. Pray that the appointment would go well. Pray that I would be able to clearly communicate with the doctor what has been going on and that he would understand everything that I say. Pray that he would be able to help me and give me not only immediate relief from the pain but also a long-term solution to make the pain in both arms go away. Pray that I would be able to handle whatever information he has or treatment he prescribes. But most of all, pray that God would be glorified, no matter what the outcome of the appointment is.
Hopefully my next blog post won't be so long in coming. I will keep you posted on what is going on with my arms, and hopefully I'll even have a chance to tell you some of the other fun things that have been happening since I got back to Korea this year. Please keep me in your prayers.
