Two Weeks

In two weeks, I leave Korea. Two weeks. In two weeks, my world turns upside down as I leave the country I have called home for the last four years and try to figure out how to live in the States again. I don't know what that experience is going to be like. I don't really know what to expect, except that it will be hard. Really hard. Like as hard as it was to move to Korea four years ago.

I'm sure some of you are probably thinking, "How hard can it be? You're American. You lived in America you're whole life until you moved to Korea. You'll be fine." Well, it is going to be hard. I've grown accustomed to living in Korea and not being able to communicate easily or read all the labels at the grocery store. I've grown used to Korean customs and ways of doing things. As part of a healthy transition into living in Korea, I had to forget the American way of doing things and embrace a different way. After being here for so long, I have a hard time remembering what is Korean, what is American, and what isn't either but is instead some weird international thing. In moving back to the States, I have to rediscover everything I once knew about living there, often without anybody telling me what I need to know (unlike moving to Korea where people assumed I didn't know and helped). The assumption will be that I know. But I don't. I don't know when or how much to tip. I don't know when to use (or not use) the hazards. I see people who look familiar, but I don't remember who they are (or if I even know them).

And that's just the transition to the States. That doesn't touch on the transition of leaving Korea. Saying good-bye to my home, my classroom, my students, my friends, my international "family." Saying good-bye knowing that I may never be back and I may never see them again. That's hard. I still haven't wrapped my head around it. My brain is struggling to process what that will look like and what it will mean.

Am I excited to move back to the States? Yes. Am I sad to leave Korea? Yes. Am I excited for what God has next for me? Yes. Am I going to miss my life in Korea? Yes. I feel all of these things simultaneously, waves of emotion rolling through me, one right after the other.

I know that in two weeks, as I make the 14-hour plane ride one last time, I will be both crying and smiling, happy and sad, joyful and mourning. I know that in two weeks everything will change as I enter into a new chapter in my life. I know that in two weeks nothing will ever be the same again.