Meditation on Hidden Treasures

My blog is called “Discovering Hidden Treasures,” a title taken from Matthew 13 where a man discovers the treasure in the field and sells everything he has to buy the field. He discovered a hidden treasure. One thing I want to do in my life is discover all the “treasures” God has for me, even when they emerge in the most unsuspecting and difficult places.

That is exactly what I have been trying to do this year. It has not been an easy year by any stretch of the imagination. It has been my hardest year of teaching, not because the teaching or the classroom itself has been difficult, but because of other things in my life. There’s more than I can get into here, but, suffice it to say, there have been many times this year that I have been overwhelmed by everything going on.

And yet, in the midst of all these trials and overwhelming circumstances, I want to find the hidden treasures. I want to find the little jewels hidden throughout each day and praise God for them. In order to find some of these treasures, I’ve had to give up a lot. I would not have found some if it had not been for all the difficulties I have encountered this year. It hasn’t been easy. Yet, looking back, I’m not sure if I would give up those difficulties. The hidden treasures I’ve discovered are too valuable.

I can’t help but thinking that the farmer from Matthew had to feel the same way. In order to get the treasure, he had to sell everything. That couldn’t have been easy. He gave up all comfort and security for the treasure—house, clothes, livestock, land, food, etc. He probably also gave up popularity and acceptance. I’m sure people thought he was crazy, including his family. They may have wanted nothing to do with him. But he gave it all up anyway, knowing that what he had discovered in the field was more valuable than all that other stuff.

As Christians, God calls us to do this very same thing in our own lives. The greatest treasure we could ever imagine is waiting for us (the kingdom of God), but in order to get it, we have to give up everything: comfort, security, friends, family, homes, health, etc. But once we get it, the joy we experience is beyond compare and makes all of our sacrifices so worth it.

That’s exactly how I want to live my life. I want to look for the hidden treasures buried not only in everyday things but also in trials and tribulations. It’s not an easy process; some days I struggle to find any. But other days are filled with so many hidden blessings that I just sit back and marvel. But regardless of how easy they are to find, each day is filled with many hidden treasures, all a result of the goodness of God. Now, I can’t sit here and tell you that, at any given moment, these treasures outweigh the difficult circumstances I am facing or the troubles I am experiencing. However, I can tell you that, looking back over this whole year, God’s hidden treasures and blessings do outweigh the difficulties (even if it didn’t feel like it at the time).

My emotions sometimes still get the better of me, and I struggle to find the joy in these treasures when I feel weight of everything I have given up for them. As a matter of fact, I’m struggling with it today and had to make a list of all the possible good things that could come from a difficult and trying circumstance. But, after praying about it and making that list, I am finding some hidden treasures and rediscovering the joy that is found in Christ. I can rest securely in my Savior’s arms knowing that He will be with me and carry me through whatever I am facing.

Because this year has been so tough, my roommate Kari and I came up with a way to document the hidden blessings in each day, even on the days that seemed the hardest and the darkest. Every night before we went to bed, we would write down any praises we had from the day, no matter how big or how small. I can’t even tell you how many times we have been thankful for simple things like a yummy dinner or Kari’s dog Kit. But these praises tell a story: the story of God’s faithfulness to us in the midst of overwhelming and difficult circumstances. Some days I struggled to come up with more than one or two things I am thankful for that day. Some days we would write things that we are thankful for, like God’s goodness, even if we didn’t “feel” them that day. Some days we were done in what felt like mere seconds because it had been a “good” day. But no matter how big or how small, how easy or difficult, those praises represent hidden treasures we discovered that day.

We wrote all of the hidden treasures on multi-colored shapes cut out from the Ellison machine at school, one shape per day (can you tell we are teachers?). And we weren’t done for the day until the shape was filled. We would then hang these shapes up around my bedroom (where I’ve spent a lot of time this year resting my arms). The walls are now literally a testimony to God’s goodness and faithfulness. Sometimes I just read some of the shapes that are on my walls and rejoice at how much God has done. He has always provided just what we need, and frequently more. Reading the praises once again kindles the joy of discovering hidden treasures.

So, I guess all of this to say, though this has been the hardest year of teaching I’ve ever had, perhaps the hardest year of my whole life so far, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I don’t always feel that way (as Kari could tell you) and sometimes just want to give up, but I know that God has a purpose for everything I have gone through this year and that He will use it all for His good and His glory. What else could I ask for?

The Continuing Adventures of Jessica's Arms (Surgery and Recovery Edition)

It has now officially been over six months since I last posted to this blog. Yikes! That's not the usual time frame I want between posts, and it really isn't ideal given what the last several posts were about. I can offer all sorts of explanations for the delinquency of my posts: my arm was hurting too much, it was the end of the semester, I had just had surgery and was in no condition to post, the play was finishing up and I had no time, the play was done but now I was playing catch up, etc. The list could go on and on. And, truthfully, I do have some good excuses for why it has been more than six months since I last posted. A lot has been going on in the past six months, including with my arms, and I really didn't know how to start a blog post that would explain everything. And then there's the whole issue of it being easier to keep putting things off once you've already put them off for so long. However, I promised updates on my arms, and I am here, at last, to give you an update. I think I'll save the other stuff for future posts (which will hopefully come sooner rather than later).

When we last left off in adventures of my arms, it was the beginning of November and surgery had just been scheduled for the end of December (the 30th to be exact). Surgery would be at Seoul National University Hospital-Bundang (about an hour north of Pyeongtaek), and it would be cubital tunnel release surgery on my right arm. The doctor would move the nerve to give it more space to pass through my elbow; he was also going to shave part of the medial epicondyle (part of the humerus) in order to give the nerve more room to move. I only had six weeks until surgery, and I was looking forward to those six weeks being up. Let's just say that feeling did not change throughout the rest of November and December; if anything, it became stronger. November and December were really difficult months for me. The pain got worse, and I was able to do less and less. Surgery was going to be a relief. I could not wait for the day of surgery to come.

And come it did. The morning of December 30th dawned bright and clear, and we left early (for Korea) to head to the hospital. My roommate Kari and my mom were with me. My family had come to visit for Christmas, and my mom, Abby, and Kara were still in country. We left Abby and Kara at home, as they didn't find the idea of spending the whole day at the hospital thrilling. They were going to have their own adventure instead. I was very happy, however, that my mom would be with me. She was flying back the next day, unfortunately, but she could still be with me in the hospital and take care of me the first day and half after surgery.

Anyway, we got to the hospital around 8 a.m. and found the outpatient surgery center. After changing into the hospital clothes (thankfully Korea does pants and tops instead of gowns), I was taken to the pre-surgery patient waiting room (patients only, no family). I had to lay down on a hospital bed until it was time to go into surgery. The only thing I could do was stare at the ceiling, which I did for close to an hour and a half before it was my turn. Yuck! Then, they wheeled me over to the operating rooms, a trip that took us back through the surgery center lobby and out and down into the main hallway. Once in the operating area, I had to wait a little bit longer and go through the last checks before surgery (verifying which arm, etc.). Thankfully, we had picked up my mom and Kari on our way through the waiting room, so I didn't have to be by myself. However, both of them could only be with me for the trip through the hallway. Once we got to the operating center, they asked if anyone spoke Korean. Because my mom speaks none but Kari speaks some, they would only let Kari come back with me. She had to put on scrubs to do so, but it was nice to have someone to talk to for a change. Fortunately I didn't have wait as long this time, and, before I knew it, they were administering the anesthetic and wheeling me off for surgery.

After the surgery itself was over, I woke up in the recovery room with my arm wrapped up and bandaged almost to my shoulder, groggy and hurting. While this is to be expected after surgery, the cultural differences of being in a hospital in a foreign country, surrounded by people speaking Korean, make for a harder post-surgery coming-to. My brain had to immediately switch back to the cultural coding and decoding necessary to figure out an unfamiliar part of a different culture. I had never had surgery before in Korea or at a Korean hospital, so the whole experience was one of watching, observing, and waiting to be told what to do (thankfully Korea is very good about telling the foreigners what to do instead of simply expecting them to know it already). While it is something I do on a daily basis, it certainly complicated the post-surgery recovery process.

Before I could be moved to the regular recovery area, I first had to go for x-rays on my right arm. However, the operating rooms and surgery center were on the third floor of the hospital, and the x-ray machines were on the first floor. So, they had to wheel me out of the surgery area (where Kari and my mom joined me), down the hall, into an elevator to the first floor, and through the hall to radiology, where they proceeded to twist my arm in several different ways to get the views they needed. Boy did it hurt! The x-rays were quite possibly the most painful part of the day as they twisted my just-out-of-surgery arm in ways that I don't think it should have been bent or twisted in the brace. It hurt so badly that tears were welling up in my eyes.

Eventually the x-rays were over, and it was back down the hall, up the elevator, and through the hall, this time to the main recovery area. I had to rest there for a couple hours before leaving. After the acrobatics for the x-ray, plus normal post-op pain, I needed some pain meds, which they were eventually able to give me. I was also quite thirsty by this time, as it was now mid-afternoon and I hadn't had anything to eat or drink since before bed the night before. However, I was told that I couldn't have anything to drink (even water) for several more hours, even though my mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton.

After waiting in recovery for more than an hour, they delivered my post-op prescriptions to me and told me that I could go home. And so home I went, sitting in the backseat with my arms propped up on pillows, praying that the ride home would go by quickly and smoothly. The hour-long car ride felt much longer with all the pain, but we eventually made it home, where I crashed for the rest of the day.

My recovery proceeded pretty normally from there. The first few weeks were mainly spent recovering from the effects of surgery without much indication as to how successful the surgery had been. Since surgery was during Christmas break, I had about two weeks off before I had to return to school. The first weeks back were hard (and painful). However, things did start to turn around at the end of January. I noticed a drop off in the pain and an increase in what I was able to do. I was getting a little bit better day by day, week by week, a pattern that has continued ever since. I had a doctor's appointment in March, two months after surgery, and I was recovering as I should be. The doctor was pleased with my recovery and not surprised by the pain I was still experiencing. In fact, he even made a little joke out of it at one point. I had told him that I was having some bone pain in my elbow, and he basically said, "Well, duh, I cut off part of your bone," a little "humerus" reassurance that everything was okay (yes, pun fully intended).

My arms have only gotten better since then. About the last week of April, I woke up one morning feeling like something "switched" in my right arm. I had a lot less pain and could do a lot more. Something felt different. It was a huge leap forward in my healing, especially since I felt like I had stagnated the previous few weeks. I could now go longer without resting and my arm wouldn't really hurt. This continued to improve to the point where, by mid-May, I could go several hours without resting. I could also do more work (defined as anything that required me to use my arm), and I needed less rest between work times. My healing took another giant step forward last week as I was now able to go many hours without rest and I could work throughout that time (not for hours straight, but with simply taking breaks rather than resting my arms on pillows). I am confident that I am healing as I should be and will be completely healed (or practically so) at the end of six months as my doctor said. As would be expected, my left arm has been healing far faster than my right arm, since it was only hurting out of compensation for the right one. It hasn't seriously bothered me since probably March and needs far less rest than my right arm even now.

I have one last follow up appointment with my doctor in June before I head back to the States for the summer. As of right now, I only have positive news to tell him. My arm continues to get better and better, and I can do more and more things. I am looking forward to next school year when I should be able to do all the "normal" things without too much trouble. For now, though, I'll keep doing things in spurts with some rest in between so that I don't tax my arms too much. I want to do things but also be smart about them so that the healing also continues. I am so thankful that things are so much better now. The adventure is almost over. I can only attribute that healing to God, especially the few times my healing has "jumped" forward. All I can do is praise Him and thank Him for all He has done and express my gratitude to all of you who have been praying for me this year. I know that your prayers have helped my healing and encouraged me and given me the strength to get through this year. It has been a long, difficult, and painful year, and I could not have gotten through it without God. I can only pray that God has been glorified through all of this.

Update on Doctor's Appointment

Thank you all so much for all of your prayers over the past couple of weeks. It has meant a lot and been very encouraging to know that people all over the world were praying for me. I would really appreciate if you would continue to pray for me, as this is not over yet.

My doctor's appointment two weeks ago went pretty well. The doctor examined my arm and listened to the problems I was having. He confirmed, as I had suspected, that I had cubital tunnel. Cubital tunnel is basically carpal tunnel in the elbow. The ulnar nerve, which runs behind the elbow and down to the hand, was being compressed. This compression was a large source of the pain and numbness I felt. However, he said that wasn't the only thing going on. He said I also have tennis elbow, a slight tearing of the tendons on the lateral side of my elbow. The combination of these two conditions means that I basically should never bend my elbow or do anything to compress the nerves or overwork the tendons. However, to confirm this diagnosis and to determine the severity, he ordered further tests. As a result, I walked out of the first appointment with nothing more than tests scheduled. Nevertheless, it was a very positive first step, one I am very thankful for.

The tests were scheduled for last Wednesday, October 29. I had to take the entire day off of school because of the timing of the tests. In the end, I had blood tests, x-rays, an MRI, and a nerve conduction test. The nerve conduction test is the big one because it would determine if I really had cubital tunnel and if it was severe enough for surgery. I would get the results of all of these tests on November 6. At this appointment, we would discuss treatment options and decide what the best plan of action was.

Well, since it's now November 7, at least in Korea, that doctor's appointment is over, and I have my test results. The MRI showed that there is some tearing in one of the lateral tendons; however, it is only a small tear that should heal fine on its own (given enough time). The x-rays did not show any bone spurs, and the blood work was all normal. Additionally, the nerve conduction test came back negative. In other words, it showed that there were no problems in conducting information along the path of the nerve, meaning there is actually nothing wrong with the nerve in my elbow. If my ulnar nerve really was compressed, as would happen with cubital tunnel, the test would have shown slowed conductivity in the nerve.

Considering all the problems I have been having, this was not good news. That should have been the end of the discussion. Normal test results = no surgery or further treatment. However, the doctor could clearly see that something was wrong, regardless of what the test said. Based on the symptoms I had previously described, he said I had cubital tunnel. His opinion did not change after the results of the nerve test, especially when I described how the pain and numbness have been getting worse over the past two weeks.

As a result, he decided to do something about it, in spite of what the test said. So, on December 30th, I will be having cubital tunnel release surgery. During that surgery, the doctor will open up more space for the nerve so that it will not become compressed. Additionally, he will shave off part of the medial epicondyle, one of the bones in the elbow. By removing part of the bone, he is hoping to prevent any complications that could arise later. He also said that he would remove any scar tissue if he saw any during surgery. So basically, not only is my doctor giving me surgery when the test doesn't necessarily indicate it, but he is also doing extra to prevent further problems.

I came out of the appointment meditating on the goodness and grace of God. My doctor did not have to agree to surgery. He did not have to volunteer to do extra during surgery to try to completely fix the problem. He did not have to listen to everything I said without simply dismissing it. But he did. That is a direct result of God's goodness and care for His people. He led me to this hospital and this doctor at this time and in this place. I know He has a plan for my good and for His glory. The fact that I will be able to have surgery even with a negative test result really testifies to that.

So, how can you pray for me? Continue to pray for pain relief and endurance. There are some days where I honestly don't know if I can make it. I need prayer to help me get through those days in God's strength. Also, pray for the upcoming surgery. Pray that it will go well, not result in further complications, and fix all the problems. Pray for the doctor as he operates, that his hands would be steady. Pray that he would have wisdom about what to do once he is in there. Pray that recovery will be smooth and that I will feel ready to return to school when classes resume two weeks later. Pray that I would gain all strength and ability back without any further complications. Pray that any other related issues in either arm would disappear. And finally, pray that this situation, including surgery and its results, would continue to bring God glory.

Life Update and Prayer Requests

So if you feel like it's been a while since you've read my blog, well, that's because I haven't updated it since school started. Sorry about that. This school year so far has been absolutely crazy. We just finished the first quarter this past week, and it has been so packed with all different sorts of nuttiness that I am not quite sure that I will be able to explain everything in one blog post.

As you might remember from my last blog post, I started the school year with a whole bunch of new changes, including all new technology and textbooks. That led to the first month of craziness. All high school English classes switched to e-books this year, so the biggest headache was getting all of the books downloaded to the students' iPads. Of course, because we are in Korea and not the United States, there was a little bit of finagling we had to do in order to accomplish that goal. However, eventually, all students had their textbooks. It only took about a month.

However, that has not been the only crazy part of the school year. For the past month or six weeks, it has been something else entirely, something way worse than the difficulty of switching to e-books. Something from my past coming back to haunt me. Something that has made it extremely difficult to do my job and even live life. What is it, you may ask? If you guessed further problems with my arm, you would be correct.

Now, before I explain what is going on now, I want to explain where I've been. Last summer, I had carpal tunnel release surgery on my right wrist. The surgery and recovery went well, and for a while, I was having no further problems. However, that only lasted about six months. Sometime last winter, my right elbow started to hurt again. I had had some pain in my elbow as I was dealing with the pain in my wrist; however, the hope was that once I had surgery, the pain would go away. Unfortunately, it did not. Instead, the pain blossomed, swelled, and grew, until it became a lot like the pain I had previously had in my wrist. In fact, sometimes I was even dealing with some numbness in my arm. Not fun. I went to see my doctor when I was in the States this summer, and he was not much help. He basically said that what I needed to do was rest a whole lot and pretty much never use my elbow, bend it, or rest it on any hard surface, including tables or desks. Not something that is very easy or practical to do. The one good thing about the appointment was that he did give me a cortisone shot for the pain. The cortisone shot helped with the pain throughout the summer, as did resting it.

Fast forward to the beginning of the school year. I only made it a couple weeks before the pain came back again. At that time, the pain wasn't constant and was limited to my right elbow and arm. And then we got to the middle of September, right about three months after I had the cortisone shot. If you know anything about cortisone shots, then you know that they only last for approximately three months. This time, the pain was really intense and fairly constant. It also was not limited to my right arm. Because I started using my left to do more things, my left wrist and elbow have also been hurting since this time. The pain and numbness in my right arm was so bad that I even missed one day of school because of it.

And that has pretty much been the story of my life for the past month. Pain. Almost constant, unending, life-stopping pain. It is made it almost impossible to do anything. I cannot write. I cannot type. I cannot lift or carry anything. I can barely grip anything. I cannot do any household chores. I can barely feed myself or accomplish personal hygiene tasks. I cannot sit or stand for more than a minute or two without my arms starting to hurt. I cannot go more than a few minutes after my Aleve wears off before I feel the pain again. And even the Aleve doesn't take care of all the pain.

So, life is pretty difficult right now. I spend as much time as I possibly can sitting with my arms resting on pillows. As you might imagine, that makes teaching pretty difficult. I spend more time sitting at my desk that I normally would, and when I do have to stand, I find that I can be relatively comfortable with a pillow balanced under my arm. I do not write anything on the board; the students do it all. Thankfully, they think it's pretty cool and seem to enjoy it. Overall, the students (and faculty) at my school are very understanding and helpful. I have a friend who helps me do all of my grading, primarily the writing component of it.

At home, I have been spending pretty much all of my time sitting on my bed, resting my arms on the Island of Five Pillows. My roommates help by preparing all of my food, doing all of my dishes, and even doing my laundry. Right now, the only way that I am able to continue doing life is through all the help that the community here provides me.

Ultimately, though, my biggest help comes from God. As you might imagine, the past month has been very discouraging and frustrating for me. My entire life is consumed by pain. Through that, it would be really easy to lose sight of who God is and what he has done for me. But I've mostly been able to hang onto that and remember how much he does help me. I find that somehow I'm able to get through it if I rest on him and rely on him. God upholds me and strengthens me and allows me to get through each and every day. I know that he has placed this in my life at this time for a reason. I don't fully understand what that reason is now, and I may never understand what it is. I do know, however, that it is ultimately for his glory. And, as long as he is being glorified, that is really all that matters. It is my prayer that, as I walk through this trial, that my response and my reaction and how I handle the situation would glorify God.

That being said, I desperately need your prayers. First, that my life right now would glorify God, not despite the pain, but through it. Second, for pain relief. Third, for healing. I know that, if he chose to, God could heal me tonight. He hasn't yet, but I believe that he will one day. Fourth, for my upcoming doctor's appointment. I have an appointment with a hand and arm specialist scheduled for this Thursday afternoon at 2 P.M. It is at one of the major hospitals just south of Seoul, so I should be able to get good care with a physician who speaks good English. Pray that the appointment would go well. Pray that I would be able to clearly communicate with the doctor what has been going on and that he would understand everything that I say. Pray that he would be able to help me and give me not only immediate relief from the pain but also a long-term solution to make the pain in both arms go away. Pray that I would be able to handle whatever information he has or treatment he prescribes. But most of all, pray that God would be glorified, no matter what the outcome of the appointment is.

Hopefully my next blog post won't be so long in coming. I will keep you posted on what is going on with my arms, and hopefully I'll even have a chance to tell you some of the other fun things that have been happening since I got back to Korea this year. Please keep me in your prayers.

A "New" School Year

It's that time of year again...time to go back to school! If you've known me for awhile, then you probably know that back-to-school time is one of my favorite times of the year. Yes, I love going back to school, both when I was a student and now that I'm a teacher. Yes, yes, I know that makes me weird (and a bit of a nerd), but that's okay.

This year will mark my third year teaching in Korea and my fifth year of teaching overall. Each year I've grown and become a better teacher, and this year will be no exception. Each year also presents its own challenges. One of this year's challenges will be all the new things and the changes that will come with that.

Now, I'm sure some of you are thinking, "New? What's going to be new? Sure, there will be some new teachers at the school, so new colleagues, but other that, what's new? She's been living in Korea for two years already, in the same city, with one of the same roommates, going to the same church, and teaching at the same school with the same subjects. Where's the new?" Well, in a way, you'd be right. I haven't moved, not even to a different apartment. I'm still in the same place I've been for the past two years. But even so, there are a lot of new things for me this year, some small and some not so small. And, to be honest, I feel a bit overwhelmed by it at times. I know that in the end, it will all work out, but sometimes it feels a bit overwhelming. So, in no particular order, here's some of the things that are going to be new for me this next year.

1. A new roommate
2. A new bedroom
3. A new classroom
4. A new class- AP English (which I am simultaneously excited and nervous about teaching)
5. A new school administrator (though after not having one last year, this is a blessing as well)
6. All new textbooks for English (both literature and grammar)
7. New format for textbooks (going to e-books for English this year)
8. New teaching standards
9. New technology for students (all will have iPads this year)
10. New technology for me- iPad and Apple TV (I have the privilege of being the guinea pig on technology in the classroom, including the e-books, iPad, and Apple TV)
11. New student handbook, including new regulations for dress code
12. New faculty handbook
13. New (longer) school hours
14. New bell schedule, including power lunch and a morning break
15. A new early dismissal day every week for professional development
16. New discipline system

With all of these changes, I'll have to hit the ground running almost as soon as I get to Korea. The beginning of the school year will be a lot of work, but hopefully, once we get a few weeks into the school year, the bumps from all the "newness" will disappear and things will run more smoothly.

In the meantime, if you could keep me, my school, and the other teachers in your prayers over the next few weeks, it would greatly appreciated. We have a number of new teachers this year who will also be adjusting to a new country and new school. The students, even those who have been at the school for years, will be facing some changes as well. Pray that we would not be overwhelmed by stress or worry and that we would leave it all to the Lord. Pray that our efforts this year would be for His glory, not for our own. Pray that students will hear and understand the Gospel and learn truth about God. Pray that I would have an effective ministry this year and not let the little things get in the way.

The Butler Did It!

Whew! I made it! While some of you may be thinking, "Oh, she made it to the end of the school year, I unfortunately have to tell you that I still have two weeks to go. No, instead, I made it to the end of the play. This past Friday (May 23, 2014) was the performance for ICS's spring play, The Butler Did It!, that I directed. We had a cast of 9 and a crew of 4, for a grand total of 13 students involved. It was the perfect size for our school, with a minimum of sets and props required (including no set changes). The students and I worked hard on the play throughout the semester, and it definitely paid off on Friday. The students did a fantastic job! They overcame issues of memorization and not being in character to put on a great show for the audience!

The Butler Did It! is a murder mystery play with a dash of comedy. The comedy mainly comes in through the clever, well-written lines. Full of word play and quirky characters, the play kept the audience laughing the entire time. I'd tell you more, but I don't want to ruin the play. You'll just have to watch it yourself (hopefully a video of the play will be posted online soon).

In the meantime, you'll have to content yourself with the few pictures below. For more pictures, see Facebook. Spoiler Alert: The pictures on Facebook give away who the murderer is. If you don't want to know, don't look!

April Whirlwind

I don't know how your April has been, but mine has been a whirlwind. I was just marveling this morning that May starts on Thursday. Since when has May been just around the corner? April was crazy busy for me, and May is promising to be no better. Here's what I've been up to this month:

1. School work- This includes normal lesson planning and grading; you know, all the normal stuff that teachers do all the time that takes up a lot of their time.

2. Prep for next year- About April, teachers start thinking about and planning for the next year. While this is normal for this time of year, it has been extra crazy this year because of all the changes we are making next year. We revised the parent/student handbook and the faculty handbook. We filled out technology and curriculum request forms. This past week was especially crazy as our new director for next year was in town visiting. We had many meetings as well as several promotional dinners.

3. E-book research- This technically falls under number 2, but since I've spent so much time on it, I decided to make it its own point. I have spent many hours this month researching e-textbooks. One of the changes for next year includes starting our school down the road of e-textbooks. The first subject to use e-textbooks? English. That's right; I get to be the first teacher at our school to have e-textbooks. All 9th-12th grade students will be required to have a tablet next year, which they will use to view their English books. I have spent a lot of time researching the different e-textbooks available (or not available) and the different platforms or apps they run on. I wish I could say this process was done, but it's not all figured out yet. We should be almost done with this process though, and it should result in e-textbooks for English next year. Yay! I'm excited about the possibility and the doors that it will open.

4. The play- Once again, I am directing our school's spring play. It is called The Butler Did It! and will be held on Friday, May 23rd. It is a murder mystery play, complete with lots of humor. When everything is said and done, it should be good, but we're still in process of getting it there. Right now we are working on finishing up memorization and acquiring props, costumes, and sets. April marked the beginning of the crazy season with directing the play, and May only gets worse. After school rehearsals start tomorrow, which means I lose more school prep time and some of my evening work time. However, it should be worth it in the end; I just have to keep reminding myself of that.

In the midst of all this craziness, God has really been stretching me and pushing me to rely on Him even more. I've been very stressed this month, and I know it will continue next month. However, when I get super stressed, I feel the Holy Spirit reminding me to rely on God and His strength and trust that He has everything under control. I do not do all of this by myself, but God himself helps me do it. In general, I'm very bad at this (I tend to think I need to and can do everything by myself), and God has really been showing me that such an attitude is sin. I'd like to say I've gotten better, and I have to a certain extent, but I still have a long way to go.

That being said, if you want to know how you can help me right now, the answer is to pray for me. Pray that I won't be stressed. Pray that I remember to do things when I need do them (my memory's not the most reliable thing right now). Pray that I will rely on God for His strength. Pray that I remember God is in control of everything. Pray that I will let God handle everything instead of trying to do it myself. Pray that I will be humble enough to accept help when it is offered and to seek it when I need it. And, above all, pray that God will be glorified through what I'm doing now (in school and with the play), even if that means things don't work out the way I think they should.